By no means am I one to give advice. And most people hear aren't trying to judge you. They are giving advice on their experience. If they come across like they are angry it only means they have been there done that and they want to try and get you to get help long before they did.
In all of the post and replies I heard a lot about "the AH" and "youself". What about your children? Do you want them being exposed to this on a daily basis? Or wondering where their father is? I am not telling you to leave him. I am just saying if he won't get help and doesn't want to quit(whether he thinks he needs too) he WON'T. My AH know he needs to quit but he can't. So I am working to get myself out of that situation. I know how much you want to help. We have all been there. But you must think about your children and your self. Please try and read some of the books people sugguested. They will open your eyes. Good luck and I will pray for your family.