Is it not possible that this was his "bottom"? I mean, to realize the he had left me, cheated (and possibly made me ill), started using drugs again and that I was preparing to walk out with our children? It is not like everything was perfect before that - we had been spiraling down and things were getting worse, which is how he justified leaving, as he thought that we were going to end up divorcing anyhow. In my opinion, he wanted to binge and knew it wouldn't be "good" to be home when he did it. I think that this was his bottom. I don't think that he ever meant to put himself in the danger that he did using or me in the danger that he did cheating. I think it scared him when I told him I was leaving. I will definitely look into the book that you have recommended.
No, the band aid is what we have been using for the past few years. For him to quit drinking, alone or with help, and to seek counseling to deal with all of his issues...I think that is MUCH more than just putting a band aid on the problem. He's trying and I give him credit for that, especially since he has always sworn he would never seek counseling.
Denny, I am sorry but I don't understand what you mean with the comment about justifying my behaviour by criticizing others. I never criticized anyone in my comment about being able to forgive easily. Some people can and some can't. He is fortunate that I can.
You know, so far this forum has not helped me in any way decide that Al-Anon is something that will work for me. I came on here looking for people to talk to that may have shared similar problems and may be able to offer me advice on how to handle things. Now, don't get me wrong, I realize that you all have a great amount of wisdom and you see that I may be making mistakes, but I REALLY did not expect to have to be justifying every single thing that I have shared with you, nor did I expect to feel as if I had to defend myself. I was excited when I found this place because I need help (for me), but now I am developing a serious disappointment in the way that this help is being given.