I promised him a reward of sorts for going to the meeting with her.
I guess that I am hoping that, as it works with my children, positive reinforcement for doing something that may not be well liked may help to keep him enthused.
First off, he is not a child and I know of no reason why an active user who has abused his family should be rewarded or otherwise enticed to 'be a good boy'. Many have tried this method and I have yet to hear one success story. The addict needs negative reinforcement...the natural consequences of bad behavior to motivate for true change.
I learned in Alanon that if I continued to help someone be successful at doing what they do...I am enabling them- or have become, in a way, their partner.
If I choose to give money to an active addict- I am taking from the rest of my family and myself. btdt. I have spent alot of money in the past trying to rescue my son from his addiction. I made his using alot easier and robbed myself and my family of funds that could have and should have been used differently. And that's just telling about the financial side of it.
What works is not easy but the idea of Alanon and places like this forum is to offer help to 'you' and share what it was like for us, what we did and how it is now. There is a better way and you don't have to be alone in this.
If I may ask...why can't you go to meetings?