Hi Sunrise. Welcome to our thread. I'm thinking boundaries, boundaries, boundaries when I read your post. Set some boundaries so you won't be dragged into the drama. Start with small ones like hanging up the phone if it's too much drama coming from the other end. Let him see you mean what you say if you tell him you're hanging up, do it. It's not about control doing this, it's about protecting you and your sanity.
I done this with AH, (It's not easy) but it helps to keep you out of the drama which is your 1st priority. I think it helps them too because they learn they can't act certain ways and still have your support, etc. They have to think differently which can be an improvement.