My heart hurts for ya, caileesnana... I remember how much this just HURTS.
My sponsor had me reading from every daily reader we had, doubling up on face to face meetings, and calling my alanon phone tree daily.
Today, I know that is excellent advice. I couldn't always do all of what she suggested, but I did as much as I could...and things got better.
My prayers are that this horrible painful part passes soon, and that you can be filled with love, and peace and ... serenity.
(((hugs)))