worried
AD started her job last nite, said she would be in between 12-1230. I awoke at 130, no Kasey! No Kasey @5am. Once again I had the all nite, sick, nauseous misery. She has been doing remarkedly well, now this. I'm guessing she met up w/ someone new and went to hang/ chill for a while and fell asleep. Whatever still unacceptable and she broke the home contract in: no not coming home, no lying, curfew, driving car anywhere except AA, IOP and private therapy. How can 1 day on a job change everything you've worked so hard for. I was afraid w/ her working evenings she would get off her "routine schedule" that has worked SO well. It only took one day!
I've left a message for her counselor. I know what I now have to do and I don't want to! THe last time I put her out she got worse--in all way imaginable. But, she signed the contract and agreed to the rules, hell, she wrote the rules!!!
I will stand strong and barring an auto accident w/ proof of hospitalization, she will have to find another "recovery home".
Why doesn't she think??? I drove by the drug shack and the car wasn't there. I don't think she would go back there as she has really worked through so much and talked w/ the detective about the abuse--physical and drugs. She says she is scared of him and wishes he were dead. Through all the ranch and IOP she has worked with this and the rape. I pray she has not gone back there. But if she did, she once again will be on her own. If I sign a contract I stick to it. I'm scared once again we are doing our "program" for nothing.
Amazing, it didn't surprise me. Disappoint yes, made me mad, yes. But, I'm not as anxious and scared as before. I know there is nothing I can do but be me and stand my ground. Her daddy is devestated. This time he finally stood his ground, went to every meeting, took time off w/ her and feels the kicked in the teeth symptom. Ive felt it many times, this is his first.
Pray for us please/
susan