Such a lot of encouragement from all of you. Got up and off the month long pity potty and feeling sorry for myself. Went outside and looked around the beautiful yard I used to have-he had barely touched it this year. Flowerbeds grown up in weeds and trees. I cried. Then decided to take the anger I feel out of the weeds and lawn. Must have been a lot of anger-neighbor came over and told me how great it was looking. I had to do the front yard with an electric weedeater. Hubby Tweeked" two perfectly good mowers this year-just to get out of cutting the lawn. Yep, think I am going to make it. Will probably have a lot of down days but hopefully most will be up ones. Checked his cell phone calls-he has not used it since early Fri.-Good-what I don't know will not hurt me. Fog is lifting!!!!!! Hope to stay with this site forever!!!!!! LOL