Your normal, its okay
Hi, I haven't been here on this forum before but I read what you said and I wanted to say that I think your normal, more than other people. What you are explaining could be signs of bipolar but if not than just know that you are not alone. I too went through this same thing and it can get better, a lot better. When your hole life is played in a role you tend to continue that role even sub connencely, you don't know it. Sometimes people tend to put in problems when things tend to be to good or just right because they are so use to living in kayos. There is a way out, you don't have to do intense therapy, get loaded on meds or self medicate, I'm know. I am on some stress medication but that is all. You need to find yourself, soul search. When I hit that point I found that I didn't know who I was, how can I love myself if I don't know anything about myself, how to you love vanilla ice cream if you don't know what vanilla is or what it taste like? I didn't know my favorite color, hobby, place, number, anything. If I have any advice for you its to spoil yourself, and be selfish and only do things for yourself right know. It will change your hole life. Get a hole bunch of colors throw them yelling at them, what you feel, look at it for a while, take a deep breath and relax, the color that symbolizes you will be your favorite, it will difine you and it will start you on your path of finding yourself. Once you find yourself, you will have incondissional love for yourself, and you will respect yourself but most of all you will know in your heart that you diserve to live, you diserve to be free, and you diserve to be happy but most of all you will know that you are not a victim. Know your name, stand proud, remember know one can ever take that away from you. If you ever need anything, let me know, I hope I can help, remember, where there is a will there is a way and the sun will rise again, it always does. Aleks035