teke,
i just wanted to add on to what patchoulli said - you are a beautiful person - i have a feeling your husband being the way that he is has something to do with doubting yourself - his sickness made you feel insecure - his trying to tell you you were crazy when you knew you weren't made you question yourself - you just went through a major health issue - you've been through hell in back - now you need to get well - just think about working on *you* - being the best you you can be - the stronger you get the better you'll feel - you can do this - just take baby steps - the insecurities will fade - it will all be ok - i promise...
with love,
s