Originally Posted by
respektingme 
Al-Anon is about setting boundaries. Al-Anon is also about not being jerked around by the actions of others, learning to be happy without trying to control the A.
I'm new to Al-Anon. I've never told AH his mother wasn't welcome in our home. But a few week ago, I told him I thought we should both work our programs before she comes to visit. We're babes in our programs, and her presence will be a huge challenge for both of us.
You say "for both of us." What does your husband say? In Al-Anon I've learned to speak only for myself. There are other choices. One that comes to mind is, if your husband wants his mother to visit, that you find something else to do during that time. Has there been a discussion between you and your husband, or just what you think is best right now?
It was extremely difficult for me to see just how much I was trying to control everything and everyone around me. It took a lot of working the program to start to change.
Good luck.