Good morning all, well it took a bit to catch up.
First of all NEVER < i juat want it said that my pets really dont cost me much, adn the kids pay for theirs with money they get for spending from my family.
ALso kids do not eat raman noodles thats my lunch, but we eat alotta cheap caserole dishes, brown rice, beans, ect.
(Just wanted to clear that up.)
Cinder let us know how dinner went........ Did u bring the kids? I hope so I'm sure they would also like a nice dinner out too. Especially after living on ramen noodles for a while they deserve a nice meal out also.
Dinner went good. We had a medium meal. Haha Ha. We got chinese at this little place. It was awesome and theres lots of left overs. Kids came, yes. I dont do babysitters and family will not watch them if we are gonna be together.
He also bought me a new cell since mine broke ( a cheap one I picked, but it works thats what matters) and he gave me $100 for groceries, which with the way Ive been bargain shopping, that can go a real real long way.
But even witha great evening, guys somethings not right...
He talked of things he'd learned in past counseling ect and how he doesnt want that life and he's gonna be somebody. That he hasnt done drugs in a long time and he's done with liquor cause he gets angry at first shot, blah blah
But he then switched to how a few beers are no prob ,ect, and I dont know, I tried to listen and be open minded but I think its the illusion of control and I told him point lank, if you are drinking any alcohol I cant be with you, it triggers bad memories like PTSD. I cant do it.
The man then smoked a whole pack of cigs. (He never used to.) Maybe thats his way of adjusting, but... and I know its good to talk about how you feel, but I saw dry alkie signs.
Course then there was a look, Ive changed I brought you money ect, why are you mad? Duh, I refuse to discuss alcohol with him after the h*** its brought, it always started with a 6 pack, then 12, then bottle, bam.
So like Teke was talking I do think the money is a form of control, they are trying to make it okay and you know peace is more important.
Teke, keep going with your gut and I will too.
Also everyone, on another thread someone mentioned inner critic. Is that why when our As say stuff it gets too us so, cause our inner critic has been saying it all along?