Originally Posted by
venusinlibra 
Prodigal I needed that. I had to laugh...I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Sometimes I feel like I have lost the woman I was. I never use to put up with crap like this...maybe I am addicted to him and my rational self does not know why. The one silver cloud in all of this...it has gotten me to Alanon. The program is helping me to deal with childhood issues and this relationship got me there. Maybe that was the purpose.
Thanks for your support.
It took me a loooooooooooooooooooong time to answer your question to stop going over and over in my head what I needed to do (I needed to do)hmmm wrong!! by wrong I mean I should not have had to be the only one working so hard) in order to keep our relationship together and "I know it will get better" he is in counseling now-he is going to AA-RIGHT! I had been in counseling dealing with childhood issues but not really applying or rather allowing it to sink in-because I was to busy trying to "fix" him and our realationship.(What relationship???) I wasted so much time waiting for it to get better and then realized I was the one that needed to get better-and that this man may see the day when he does or not it was not my job to wait around any longer-I lost who I was and I needed to find me.
LOVE HIM? Yes of course we love our A's. FormerDoorMat is a prime example of what loving an A is.....(read some of her posts as they are truly motivating) we can love them but not allow them to consume US and LOOSE who we are!
You say that you are sick and tired of being sick and tired-? Maybe it is time to do for you now-and let him do for himself! I now am on the road of finding my total self again and it is hard but worth every step of the way! Also you mention "addicted" to him. That could be a possibilty-I was addicted to the chaos and drama of it all-and now-I see I cannot live life like that it is not worth it-
Have you looked into Al-Anon? Just a thought.....and what Anvilhead stated I believe is what I always was told about the 13 stepping.
((((hugs))))