DW,
Everyone of us has felt that yearning. I hope you will treat it like a craving the same way and addict has to deal with cravings. That means that there is nothing wrong with the emotion you feel, but choose the action that leads to the next right thing.
Dollydo is right, He all ready knows how you feel, it is you, your yearning for him.
And please don't take is as personal to you when you are told you are in denial. I had to be told that. Several times said in different ways. But it was the truth I needed. And you are still in denial.
I bumped up some posts of yours the other day, which perhaps I shouldn't have done, but I wanted to remind you as my DV counselor needed to do for me, of your own words about the porn and the abuse and etc.
I urge you to stay with the commitment made of no contact. Just for today, you CAN do it, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time.
In my opinion it would be incredibly self destructive to give into that urge.
How about just write it all out on paper to get the things you want to say out of your head and set is aside.