I had a similiar awakening with a cousin of mine. This was 8 years ago and she was in town for another cousin's funeral. I was taking her to the airport and somehow we started discussing my mom and I said that she and I weren't very close. Her response: "Yeah, I'd heard that about you two."
Freaked me out. You mean something I thought was maybe my imagination had actually been observed and discussed by other family members? I didn't know if I should feel validated, sad, angry, or what. But at least I knew without a doubt all the stuff about my mom that I'd been struggling with was not my imagination. Others knew about it too. The secret was out.