Courage to Change- July 17th
My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I have no power. I am building a wonderful life for myself to do.
“As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them.”
~The Courage to Change, July 17th
This was very powerful for me to hear today. I am so often- even now- blocked by fear of the unknown and its power over my present sanity and serenity.
Today I ask God to remove this and to instill in me a sense of okay-ness
Again ~ another post written mostly for myself since I am trying to pull the plug on all of this "Romancing the past" and staying stuck and refusing to focus on myself. Knowing there is a life beyond him is something I need to accept. I KNOW it cognitively, but the feeling is still a very childlike panic.
Heather- you need to be your own best friend and to embrace your life and stop viewing any of this as the “end all to be all.”
Your subconscious mind/critical voice is SO committed to making you feel rejected/unloved/unwanted that the small, terrified child in you keeps jumping into this fear of rejection and interpreting ALL OF THIS as a reflection of your inadequacy and unlovable-ness if you will.
You must remember that this voice is wounded and it is also false. It operates from lies that you have internalized as a child and that ARE NOT YOUR FAULT.
You are however the only one who can heal YOU.
You are OKAY.
Just as you am. As you Sit here today.
You are a full and whole being and are good. You are not a defective model of the human race, nor are you a formless, fragmented identity. You have qualities, values, characteristics that are all your own. You are worthy in every sense of the word in every way. Just as you sit there today.
I know releasing your fear of rejection- fears in general is so incredibly difficult. They have dominated you for so long- kept you from living, kept you locked in fear.
They erode your sense of self and they steal from you the ability to live, believe and love.
Day by day you must affirm myself as being a whole, lovable and worthy person.
You must accept that you have a long road ahead, but you must keep moving forward and not be paralyzed by the lack of resources and tools.
You must not see each day as something “to be gotten through.”
You must erase the belief that nothing in your life has meaning without this one man. This is YOUR illness.
This is your scared inner child speaking who believes you are incapable of creating meaning in your own life.
You must be kind to yourself during this time. Loss creates incredible vulnerability. You must not be angry with yourself for your emotions. You must be patient and gentle and kind with yourself.
You are worthy.
Keep affirming your worth everyday. I must challenge and beat the part of me that has caused such crippling self-loathing. This part MUST be healed for me to “take care of myself.”