Since my original post I have talked to a therapist i had seen before for other things like normal stress and grief counseling (i'm lucky to have access to this free through my employer). She was very helpful in terms of my general well-being, and she made me an appt with someone else in her group who is a substance abuse specialist. (Sav, I'll keep what you said in mind about everyone having an agenda-thanks!) Earlier this week I was pretty upset about all of this and unable to get a whole lot done at work (I was reading this message board!). I feel a little more together today. I feel more confident that I can get through this. I know I can't do anything to change him right now, but I don't have to let it destroy me. I'm going to read books and keep educating myself. I'm going to try to be more honest with myself when I see suspicious behavior. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong, but I'm trying to not let this spoil my days and nights. Last night ah and I had "normal" night of cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, playing with our sweet dog, and watching "Ghost Hunters" on TV.