one of my favorite al-anon sayings: "looking for affection and respect from an addict is like trying to buy bread at a hardware store."
It's just not there.
As for that "psychopath" part - I think we know who the Major Nut is in this scenario, and it's the one trying to manipulate you into...who knows what?
I do know I was — and am — never so crazy as when I am involved with the addictions of one of my many family members; trying to understand, help them, cure them, show them, teach them — and all they hear is this from me:
"blahblahblahblah roof over your head blahblah car blahblah money blahblahblah I'm sorry."
((((hugs))) ~ nitelite