Originally Posted by
oneeyeopen 
he calls, tells me it is over, and of course I get the typical -- i am the psychopath thing..and of course I feel guilty, and think about all the mistakes I made and I apologize and plead etc.
With all due respect, HE's the addict. What in the world could you possibly need to apologize to him for?
I'm sure you are playing the what if game; what if you had said one thing instead of the other? What if you had done this instead? The truth is that he's the only one who has any effect on his actions... addicts don't care about anyone else.
You never know, he may hit rock bottom and decide to recover. Until then, have you thought about going to Naranon meetings? Or Alanon, if there's no Naranon nearby? The only way you can ever hope to help him at all is to help yourself. That way, whether he ever cleans up or not, you will have your life back (as much as possible).
*hugs and prayers*