I just think you're hanging all your hopes on something that's so easily defeated. So he goes for an eval. He lies, says he doesn't have a problem and they say he's either not ready for rehab or they say he doesn't have a problem because he's smart enough to not wrap himself into it all. And then what!?!? He just comes home? Or what if does submit himself to a rehab? Does that mean that you're going to continue to monitor him for the rest of your life? I think what we're all struggling with is understanding where this plan is going. Even if gets sober tomorrow, what happens if/when he relapses down the road?
For me, I had to remember, addiction changes people. I always wanted the old xabf back. The one before he was using. The xabf that was in my mind didn't exist anymore. And trying to bring back that person left me with a whole lot of pain.
But, just like I couldn't change my xabf, I can't change you and can't make you see what I've seen and know what I know.
Did you ever read what I sent you?