also, my therapist along with many others does not agree with the term "powerless". She has much experience with substance abuse and she beleives it is the right thing to do to give them a choice--what about interventions--the addict in an intervention is given a choice--i think you are being very closed minded here--not all addicts are the same....maybe by giving them a choice (and dr. phil calls it giving them a gift) a choice might work. Im sorry but it is an opinion, not a fact that you are powerless---in some instances that just might be--but not in every case.
DW, Thanks for giving me the gift of an hour with some recovery reading! When I read this, I remembered reading a phrase recently about powerlessness that really helped me to understand it in a way that works for me. I came to realize after awhile that I was powerless over my child's addiction. But I too gave her choices. Choices to protect myself and in hopes that she would find her way. One such choice was to either go back to treatment or to find somewhere else to live because I could not live with active addiction....neither the chaos nor the pain of watching the disease progress. I thinkso much depends on motive...am I trying to control or setting boundaries to protect myself and my family? Letting go of that need to control what I can't or shouldn't control has taken lots and lots of daily practice...
Anyway, I really wanted to share what i read about powerlessness and I finally found it. Reading it again, it doesn't say a whole lot, but for me I read it right when I needed to and the message became very clear....powerlessness is not helplessness.
"Even though I may be powerless to change some circumstances, I certainly am not helpless. I can use my time to do something good for myself. When I treat myself with love and tenderness, I am better able to deal with the challenges that life presents."
Hugs