Old 07-10-2007, 09:00 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
ncdeac
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Finding Myself
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by drainedwife View Post
but i also feel that i am giving him a shot at a better life...that maybe i am lifting the bottom a little BEFORE he looses his job or faces jail time or even kills himself with that garbage....
Eventually you are going to have to understand that what you have said above is just not possible. You aren't giving him a shot at a better life, only he can do that. You aren't lifting his bottom, only he can reach it. Nothing you say or nothing you do will ever change this. He can talk the talk all day long but until he walks the walk recovery will never happen. If he really understood that he was an addict, this evaluation would be unnecessary. He would recognize he needed treatment and get it...period, not because someone else tells him he needs it. If he gets the evaluation and if a professional tells him that yes, he is an addict, do you really believe that will be all it will take to get him into recovery? It won't be. He can check in and go through the motions but until he really accepts his addiction and comes out of denial it is all a waste of time. Until YOU accept the fact that you have nothing to do with his addiction, with his rock bottom or with his recovery, you will never find recovery for yourself either and I really hate that for you. You are wasting so much precious time in your life trying to control your husband.
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