I talked to Laurie and am feeling better. There are lots of things that can become a positive out of this mess. Sometimes the sadness and the fact I will miss my kids so much kinda blocks out the good.
I know it will make Paul stronger as a parent, the kids will be a little more independant, and I wont be here to interfere when I think Paul is too hard. I know I am the push over. I make things way too easy sometimes. Maybe this will give me time to learn in the classes I will be taking in prison on how to be more incontrol of myself and my actions. It will help me in someway Im sure. There is opportunities, I just have to look for it.