Although my wife’s actions had no direct bearing as to whether I continued using or not, she did however take all opportunity for me to use within her life. Is this a foolproof way to get a loved one clean? I think not. My first partner did the same thing with me years and years earlier, so consciously deciding to use alone was a better option than to stay with her and not use at all. Eight-year relationship, eight-year-old daughter and I walked away in a heartbeat rather than start my accent.
So if the question is, will your actions in placing boundaries down effect positive change in your AH behavior, I would give you the answer no, but I can assure you it will make a vast amount of difference in your life sunshine as I would assume it already has.....But what you have gained can be lost in a split second if it is compromised or not protected.
My wife and her actions now at times help me to stay clean, and indecently I return the favor. At the risk of even being a single mother and knowing full well that I have walked out on family before she makes NO compromise with me and drugs or drug related behavior .ABSOLUTLY NONE.
By the time I left prison the last time she had made her identity clear to me and that she her self was in complete control of her life and if I wanted part of it, I had to add to who she was. A person with out identity is easily controlled, try controlling someone who knows them selves.Different ball-game all together trust me.
I knew there was no room for me to move well before I left the gates! I knew there was no room for me to use with her and I knew I couldn't any longer manipulate a place, if that makes sense....and in that way her actions did help. There were a million other reasons sunshine that made this the right time. It was certainly not just because some one else decided to say no to me. It was my time I suppose. All the mistakes made, all the people hurt and all the opportunities burnt out....but it was me in the end sunshine that made the decision that it was over. If there was any room left to move, or one last path to follow perhaps I would still be there! I am always aware that there still may be a path ahead that I have not fallen down before, so it really does never end.