((DW)) This is said with love...
We can't plan outcomes.
I sure hear you trying to manage the minutia of how this goes down for your husband... and even with good reason (the ones you listed are good), I have come to believe that the path we are on is not one over which we have all that much control. Stuff just rolls out the way it is supposed to.
If you don't follow through, what are the results? Do you go back to the way you were before? Was that good for you or the kids? Even if it was tolerable, please remember addiction is progressive... whatever you had is the best it will be.
I wish you well.