Lies,
Don't know the background, but if you are paying the bills, etc.. I would go for option 1. That way you are secure in that the necessities are taken care of and eliminate some of your worry. I was a typical "codie" and also checked to see where my exAH spent from his account (all cash withdrawals..DUH)! Hopefully your situation is better and you are not as nuts as I was!!
Hugs,
Susie