Originally Posted by
HKAngel24 
I am always asking for these aren't I?
I feel sad, rejected, unloveable, unworthy and undeserving. The critical voices are loud today -- that this man, an addict even, cannot love me. The fears of my inadequacy are ruling me today and making me feel paralyzed. Feeling like I do not have choices.
I hate myself for basing so much of my worth/self-esteem at any given time on how much he loves me/I feel loved. I feel so negative today and I want out of this funk.
Reality check someone. Please. Thanks in advance.
Sweetheart .. try not to put your self worth into the hands of an addict because he will treat it as carelessly as he treats his own life .. he doesn't love himself and therefore he cannot love you the way you DESERVE to be loved .. Addiction renders the addict paralyzed and it tells them that they aren't deserving of anything other than to fill themselves with dope ... it is a hopeless place to be ... the addict is filled with negativity and it reachs out and touches us .. filling us with the same exact feelings .. that is why detachment is so important .. it is the lifesaver for those that love an addict .. He has a weight on his shoulders and it isn't yours to bare .. if you carry it you will be weighed down and all those emotions that you are feeling will bubble up to the surface and drown you ... Grab onto the lifesaver .. learn all you can about detaching .. save your sanity and yourself .. Addiction desensitizes and dehumanizes our loved ones .. and they can only give us what they have to offer .. if they've snuffed themselves out with dope all we get is the negative ... You are deserving .. you are worthy .. you are loveable .. Believe it and pull yourself to the otherside it is there that you will find your self-esteem
****{Hugs}}}
Passion