Dixied, I think that sometimes we mistake the lack of rushing adrenaline of fear with emotion. With recovery, my fear subsided and the uncontrollable urge to "do something" to save my son.
When I gave my son to God's care, it was not because I couldn't "care" anymore, it was because I was exhausted and ready to surrender my will.
I know you love your son, but letting go or detaching is the only thing that will stop addiction from pulling us into hell along with our children.
You're doing just fine and your recovery is shining. Keep living your life well, as life was intended to be lived.
Hugs