hi everyone....i need your assistance...i cannot speak or contact my ah as you all know except if it is regards to the kids...so what i want to do is tell my lawyer what to tell him....my feelings...
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Get yourself a good therapist and tell them your feelings, they are schooled and qualified to help you work through them.
An active addict doesn't have the capacity to deal with or care about their own feelings let alone yours. Lawyers are there for money not feelings.
(I don't mean that mean either, it's just what I have experienced)
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and what he needs to do to prove to me that he really wants to save this family....
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Trying to change someone requires them to lie.
If he wants to prove those things to you, he will do it on his own. He will want to do it.
he is still blaming me though and actually believes that it is ME that has all of the issues.
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If he is, it's because that's what you are allowing into your world. He is going to blame you if you let him.
What he believes are his issues, they become your issues when you make them your issues.
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So, if he is in the middle of his addiction, maybe it just doesnt matter and he wont see that what he needs to do is concentrate on himself....as i quoted Dr. Phil before, I am giving him a "gift"--a choice to egt help for those of you who will tell me there is nothing we can do to get the addict to change...but we can "lift the bottom" a little so that they hit it sooner, as I feel should have happened in this case where he is no longer in our house, and is seperated from me and the kids...
anyway, I just wanted advice as to how i should word what i want my lawyer to tell him.....thanks!
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I don' know your whole story, I do understand you wanting to help your husband, but just be careful you don't let his drug habit take you down with him.
Drugs are a powerful thing that can destroy people and everyone around them. The more you feed the addiction the more greedy it gets. You have to be on your game, your playing with fire.. If you don't know enough about addiction, learn more, you have kids, you don't have time to waste. You were put in an unfair position, but so were your kids, believe me they are watching and learning from everything they see.
Drugs used to scare the hell out of me, until I let someone convince me to try some meth to lose some weight. I almost let it kill me. The only thing that saved me was knowledge in the end. I learned everything I could about that drug. If I had not figured out what was going on, why my world was collapsing around me, I would have never made it. But it was me who saved myself, and of course I added things a good therapist, this board, etc. But just be careful where you are putting all your energy, focus and power, Make sure you are saving yourself first, or you will have nothing left for anyone else.
******{DW}}}