dw,
I don't have much to add....I posted my reply to your pm because your box is full. All I can say (again) is that I have been exactly where you are right now. I clung to the dream until the rope completely unraveled.
Our business-the place that I worked for the last 15 years and the thing that was our sole source of support-is gone. Completely gone because of my exah's choices. We had no savings, not one cent. I am 50 years old and I am starting over. My income is down 75%. NOT EXAGGERATING-75%!!!!
If I want to stay in our home with my son, then I am going to have to buy out his portion of the equity and pay the mortgage myself. He is making good money doing landscaping. He is drawing unemployment. Mine ran out a month ago. He is not giving me ANY child support. I am living on my half of the rental income from the building where our business used to be. I went back to school to finish my teaching degree so I could make a better life for us, but for now things are pretty tight.
Money and 'stuff' will not buy you or your kids happiness. It's a choice you make. Stay in the marriage (I use that term loosely) and have lots of money and lots of stuff but no peace. Or pick yourself up by the bootstraps, stop whining about the things he is doing and saying, accept reality and move on. And have some peace-which money cannot buy.