I honestly think you need to do whatever you can to get yourself financially indepedent as soon as possible. I know you don't want to make a bunch of changes right now, but sometimes life just isn't fair. If you can ever get yourself away from needing his financial support (which we have all told you at any time may disappear, after all he is an addict) then perhaps this seemingly unbreakable attachment you have to him will begin to ease. For now, and it's just for now, it doesn't have to be forever, focus on finding a job that will pay you enough to support your family. You probably won't be able to support in the manner you are all used to, but downsizing is not the end of the world. What is more important to you...having lots of material posessions, big houses, etc or peace and quiet for you and your children? Really think about it. I think you are at a very important cross roads right now.