he deposited his check yesterday. He had just gotten it on July 2....so i dont know why he had to wait to deposit it. he has never not paid the bills for us, i was getting worried because he was taking out too much money and he has no idea how much is in there.
anyway, i guess what i am struggling with is the fact that i still in some ways feel bad for him because he is obviously in the middle of his addiction or is mentally ill.
(or both)...he cant see what is reality, and that is sad. i have been with him for 20 years, and it is hard to turn your back, as i know you all can relate.
I have not been to enough meetings and i have not learned enough about taknig care of myself above all else, as you can see from my emails..
also, in regards to my income and what that can support--where i live, it cant support anything!!!! i dont want to make a million changes in my kidsa lives all at once that will be detrimental to them....(i.e., changing schools, mooving out of town, taking them away from their friends).....i need to make changes in my life, but they cant ahppen overnight...i need to really think about the best thing to do...do i get a better higher paying job right now?? (in my current state i dont know how i am going to do that ) OR do i try to get my teaching liscence and work as a substitute gaining experience as i do an on-lilne teaching program??? what other choices are there for me??? so many decisions, its not easy...