A recovering addict named Jon who founded this site and wrote "What Addicts Do" on the stickies at the top of this forum...once told me that I could "love my son right into the grave" by enabling him and allowing guilt to affect my judgment.
He was absolutely right and I have never forgotten his words.
Loving our addict means saying "no" and allowing them to learn their own lessons and take responsibility for their actions and pay the consequences if necessary. Don't rob them of the opportunity to learn.
And welcome, I'm glad you joined us and am happy to have you walk with us on this journey.
Hugs