We got into it last night and he told me that maybe we should just get a divorce because he feels I am nit picking him to death. He said just because I stopped drinking doesn't mean he has to. He said he knew I would be happier with another man, someone who doesn't drink.
It got real heated and he finely admited he was picking the beer over me. He admited to telling lies and breaking prommises. All the stuff he had come down on me for and he did it back and feels justifyed.
OK, with all that I have to admit to my part in this mess. See.... At one point I was feeling so alone I cheeted and that went to having friend who were men on line that I talked to and in the end it ended up being more about friendship and being able to talk to someone about what was happening at home than anything else. Anyway.... he found out and read some of the emails and was hurt. He said I couldn't love him and say things like that. He has one qwote that he comes back to and he has it wrong but he holds on to it. He said I refered to him as an old drunk. He is 10 years older than me and yes I am sure I called him a drunk but not an old drunk. See he also feels at 45 I could still attract 25 year old men (NOT) any way he feels like he is nothing and here I say this stuff. Bla Bla Bla.
It's like I'm not real.... I can't beleive he said we should just get a divorce and I said no. I defended us. I am a stinking mess. Is there any one else in this world who would put up with feeling like nothing and choose that over life?
I keep saying to my self and my family. If he calls it qwits then thats it. DONE. but here he is doing just that and what do I do. Cave.