I would share with her the 17 red flags post that is archived here somewhere and tell her you love her and let her go.
I am not a Mom but my Mom tried to tell me... about XABF and I was 46. I should have listened. My Grandmother warned me about by X husband. I should have listened.
I have my listener turned 'ON' now.. at age 51...
*sigh*
I will be praying for you and your family!