Hi Hope. Its been awhile. You are in such a difficult place. You are on the outside looking in and can "see" all the negative with this man. But love blinds us to these defects. She wont see it now but in time she will. It may make her a stronger person to live through her own mistakes. It will help her learn. She may be 40 something, but I really believe that we learn everyday till we die. We make mistakes till we die. We love till the day we die. You now looking back on all the things my parents tried to shield me from, it made me who I am to walk through that. It gave me the strength to make better decisions later on in my life. My drug habbit was just two years ago, but it made me a better person for it. It taught me to teach my kids, to stand up for my mistakes, it taught me humility, etc. The is alot to be said for making mistakes and learning because of them.
Like Lady said above me, I would state your opinion and let it go at that. And if your able to just be there when she needs you.
You have my prayers and a good dose of hugs to go with it.