Originally Posted by
best 
ARGH!
At times I fill with tears at what we do to others when we drink. Right now I am feeling frustration though. Frustrated because I can't find the words that would say correctly how wrong your list is.
It may be how you feel but it is not the truth of who you are or where your moral inventory is lacking.
In my selfishness I gave my wife a list as well and when I reached a point of needing to deal with my own issues...I found that my list I gave her was my own list of me that I projected at her. It was not her, it was me in denial...I just blamed her.
Please go back over your list and dump his issues out of your list. His opinion should not guide your list. Your feelings should not guide your list. Look over your actions and if you find anything there... that is what should guide your list.
Thanks,best! Reading your response brought me to tears and has helped me.
p.s. SF; for what it's worth, "my list" had many of the same things on it that were really his/ISM issues. Thanks again for this thread!