I was separated for just over two years. I filed for the divorce, not her. It was one of my last selfish acts I guess...all about me ya know.
Well what ended up happening is the Lord was working on me and I found a "full recovery" and gave up my selfish ways. I happen to be one that is an example that we can change. With 10 days left before the divorce became final...we stopped it and had gotten back together. These past 7 years have been the best 7 years of our whole marriage.
You know your situation. You know your choices, I am just sharing what I have seen happen in my own life.
As for him and his hopes... he could dump his hopes in a moment or he could continue on with them even years after if a divorce was granted.
Before making such a final choice...ask yourself this... If he was to prove himself worthy for an extended amount of time... would you give him that chance?
If yes...how long a time/ A year? Two years? (actions over time)
Think on such things and you will find answers.
If you have any doubts about a divorce as your choice and even the slightest amount of hope towards an improved marriage, this may be a good way to find more solid answers...
An answer to him when he asks if there is a chance...
You need time and 2 years or longer if need be... would he be willing to accept that challenge? His answer and his actions wil give you all the answers you will need.