welcome, wyshy. I have three boys, two almost the same ages as your kids-my oldest are 24 and 19.
I made the decision (finally) to divorce my exah after almost 25 years of marriage. It took me a long time to get to the point of leaving, but I do believe I did the only thing I could do, for all of us.
I would echo everything mike said above. I'm glad you found this place, whether you decide to leave her or stay, you will find much love and support here.