Thank you all for your imput and support..............
I have alot to think about, I feel somewhat better today but still need some time...............
I love my stepson with all my heart and want nothing more than to keep him in my life forever.........I just have alot of codie in me and am having an extremely difficult time with the fact that no matter how much I love him............ultimately I dont get the final say in his life like I do with my other children( as much as any parent does..they to make decision we cant control )
And I am also having a difficult time sorting out my feelings concerns and fears for Ah and how these are connected to my stepson...........Just keep wishing the two could be seperate.
Thank you again