Heather,
You have talents and gifts that you don't even realize you have! I, as a mother, would love to see my sober daughter be able to write this letter to herself. If I didn't know better, I'd said I gave birth to twins and you were the other one! But I was there, and I'm pretty sure I only birthed one baby.
Your courage to face what is going on inside of you is amazing. I hope you realize that a big part of the battle of getting past this insecurity (or any problem) is recognizing you have it and then realizing that only you can make the changes to move forward in a positive direction. Your letter to yourself indicates you are getting there. I'm so proud!
For my daughter, her fear and pain of staying the same has not yet outweighed the fear of change. I'm praying that one day she will get to where you are and will face what has gone on in her life and see how it is controlling where she is today.
As for you, I am just so proud of you. As a mom of a daughter who sounds so much like you, I commend you for loving yourself enough (even though you feel so insecure in who you are) to tackle this road of recovery.
Heather, your HP has GREAT and WONDERFUL things for you. He made you and you are so worthy of every good thing this life has to offer. I pray you'll keep working toward all the good things you deserve.
Big hugs cause this mama's heart sees hope through you.
Hangin' In
P.S. As they say in the rooms of recovery, "Don't leave before the miracle happens." I think your miracle is closer than you think.