liesagain

I posted this in my other thread but wanted to make it its own thread.....for further advise
Thnaks
Thank you to everyone who replied.........

I think I am actually more sick this time than ever before..........isnt it suppose to hurt less........as we get used to it?

Theres nothing I can do for him, nothing at all..............the person that cared --at all-- ever is gone ...........and I have to be done with this once and for all

I have some difficult choices like what about step child? like everyone else -----child is here waiting for dad to get better.......and return.........
I had given up most hope of any relationship with AH, slowly I have been accepting that the damage was beyond repair for me and I have been trying to work on me....by slowly letting go of the dream that oneday it would be good again...............yet I had hope for him, and wanted to support him mainly for step child........but now once again hes taken that hope and stomped on it..............
till theres nothing left.

So what about step child is it fair to try to keep the child? Fair to the child or to me
I was holding on with the EXPECTATION that he would get well........work a program and return and build a life for the two of them if nothing else....................yet I dont see that happening now

This child lived with the extended family for many years before STBXAH and I fought for years to regain custody.................which he finally won before the initial relapse.........

step child has said .........doesnt want to go back to extended family even though the child loves them the child wants to stay here.............I think to wait for dad, and also so the child doesnt have to hear I told you so....since the child was in the middle of a very bitter dispute for many years and is well aware of the extended families distain for dad......................and they put the child in the middle often

They the extended family dont even know about relapse ---much less treatment and now leaving treatment..............but if and when they know------you can bet they will be dragging me into court...........which shouldnt be a problem since dad signed temporary custody to me................

but what I am having such an issue with is...........the childs loyality switched to dad..from the extended family.............but now dad is gone and I have little to no hope that he will be returning clean or sober...........and If I feel this way shouldnt the child be with the people who raised the child most of the childs life rather than the soon to be xwife of the dad? Shouldnt he have a life without addiction in it. I could just bang my head on the wall knowing how many years I supported dad in his quest to regain custody............never would I have dreamed he would relapse and risk losing the child..........but thats done the fact is child was removed from only home the child knew the child bonded with dad and our family...........child still goes to weekend visits with the extended family but says does not want to live there again..........

We, my children and I love this child dearly yet......is keeping him the right thing to do....since I believe there is little to no chance dad will ever be able to put child before himself? And is it fair to me or my children to keep this man in our life in any way......which if I have his child he will be
OHHHHHH I could really just kill the childs dad............and right now I wouldnt spit on him if he burst into flames in front of my eyes!!!!


PLEASE help any and ALL imput would be great!!!