Yeah, I agree with most everyone. Each person has to examine their own situation very carefully.
Personally, I dont' understand how someone can "detach" and stay living in the same house with the addict/abuser. To me, leaving would be the only detachment....(actually, leaving the country (for me) for a while would be good and letting the lawyer handle everything.) There are so many legal, physical, and mental issues there. To me the legal and mental issues outweigh everything, but my situation is a little more unique: no children, lots of assets, desire to maintain sanity. Also I absolutely have never tolerated drama of any kind, period.
SOme people can tolerate a great deal though, and some people do not have the financial where-withall to just jump up and run, so I can understand that. There are lots of resources out there though for those who wish to pursue them. Each person has to decide what is best for them and everyone is different.