When things were at their worst with my exah, I was so damned focused on getting him clean and sober that all the other problems in our relationship fell to the wayside. Addiction effects every aspect of a relationship. Just because they get clean for a while doesn't mean that all the underlying issues just go away.
My exah has been clean from drugs for a little over a year now (at least I think so anyway)...but the fall out from his addiction continue to be a problem. I don't trust him anymore...Many days, I don't even like him...I have to deal with him because we have a son together but the damage to our 'relationship' is beyond repair. It took me a very, very long time to come to this realization because I wanted so badly to just be proud of him for trying and grateful for his apparent recovery...but it all turned out to be too little, too late. Thats been my experience, at least.
No one has the right to treat you so badly...whether they are an active addict, a recovering addict, or not an addict at all. You don't have to be his whipping post. You have needs too. It aint all about him...don't forget that, okay?