Thread: Please help
View Single Post
Old 06-23-2007, 03:02 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Elana
Bridge CLOSED
 
Elana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
what everyone else said.
But I am going to add this:

I was cheated on. I truly loved the man who did this and I did everything to make for a good life for us and I treated him very very well, as well as being very nice to him and loving. He STILL needed to cheat. He is a drug addict. When I found out he was cheating.. and he had a long history of doing so.. I felt so violated. I met his cheating GF once. If I had known then what I know now.. well I won't go there...

It is NO ONE's business to "rescue" someone from a bad marriage or relationship. It is NO ONE's right to "cheat" because they are IN a bad relationship. End one before beginning another because SOMEONE is going to get hurt.

If a man (or woman) will cheat with you, a day will come when he will cheat on you.
Your extramarital affiar, and his, will someday hurt a LOT of people (your kids, his kids, and both your spouses), as will his addiction.

If that is judgemental, I am sorry. The pain I suffered at the hands of my cheating X boy friend I did not deserve. Period.

Addicts lie. Period. I believed my X addict boy Friend. Upon discovering his drug use, the extent of which still amazes me, I was taken aback. Subsequent to his leaving I also found out about the cheating and the extent of his lies which to this day STILL leave me shaking my head. The fact that I believed all those lies has me shaking my head over ME.

So, as others have said here, this guy is an ADDICT. He is a USER. He is a LIAR (he has to lie to his wife to be with you if nothing else.. and once that starts it simply escalates).

Take the focus off him and leave him alone. PUT the focus ON you. If your marraige is not working, try to think WHY. TALK to your spouse about it. If it cannot be salvaged, then figure out what you are going to do and how WITHOUT another man. Find out who you are and take care of YOU.

Meanwhile, this guy.. you Addict BF.. should be working on HIM SELF and HIS recovery.

You each have a tough row to hoe and you need to do your own row, not his.
Elana is offline