Originally Posted by
peapods 
i would never forgive myself if anything happened to him and i could have maybe got him some help before hand. please help me with this decision.
You didn't cause it
you CAN'T stop it.
you Can't cure it.
What he does is his choice. You can not stop him if that is what he wants to do.
I would think his telling you to go away may not have anything to do with drugs. May have more to do with guilt and shame and he is using the drug story as a way to stop his poor behavior. So many times the other girl...you in this case... gets thrown to the side when the guy realizes he was wrong to cheat on his wife. Lots of other things go into such a choice and it isn't always him doing right. Many times it is a selfish choice...The known old ways with the wife vs what is thought to be greener grass. The old known ways are less effort.
As I was reading what you posted...my first thought... another victim of addiction has been taken hold of.
The best thing I think you can do right now... Read the posts that say "sticky" beside them at the top of the forum and start looking for some Nar Anon or Al Anon meetings so you will better understand what is what as far as addictions go...so you can save yourself from getting pulled in all the deeper.