Although I somewhat disagree with your pastor's train of thought, I do agree that if anyone is going to talk to her about the problem, it has to be your brother. Do you know that he didn't want her to sit next to him? He's leaving and this is the woman he loves and is spending his life with - maybe he wanted her to sit with him too. It's wonderful that you love your brother and are concerned for him... But you are his sister, and not his wife - can you not enjoy his company from across the room the same as you can while sitting next to him? If the situtation were reversed, and it was your husband going away - wouldn't you have wanted to sit next to him as well?