drainedwife

hi friends--
well we went to court today to see if my ah would agree to the FM restraints...they were very leanient.

he could see the kids regularly..he could call them whenever on their cell phones, we could communicate through email, only related to the kids, he would go get a psychiatric evaluation and follow with recommended treatment/testing, etc. and if we both agreed to marraige counseling at a later date....and a few other things.

he agreed to everything except that he wanted to have visitation with the kids in our house...he said the kids are not comfortable at his parents house and i could leave the house while he spent time with them...my lawyer strongly advised against that, knowing what his motivations really were--to get back into the house....and he could snoop around, i wouldnt be able to get him to leave, etc.....so we ended up adjourning again and we are now scheduled to go before another judge on july 2 where we are supposed to go to trial....everything can come out at this trial, and my ah could face jail time, and could loose his liscence to practice law..due to the drug abuse accusations and contempt of court (breaking restraining order) and also the domestic violence alligations. so he is willing to risk everything just so he can have visitations in our house with the girls....

he left messages on my cell after court saying he doesnt care if he looses his job or goes to jail..he doesnt care because he is willing to fight for his kids??? it doesnt make sense...he says he hasnt used in 7 weeks--he is not an addict and he will get evaluated and when they say he is okay then what will be the purpose of all this... and continued to add that i am a miserable person and i have tortured him for the past few months,,,blah, blah, blah.....then he calls later and says that he was thinking about his relationship with his secretary and how that must have really hurt me and he is sorry, and blah, blah , blah...he doesnt understand where he went wrong so he is thinking that maybe this is it....does he still not get that it is because of the drug abuse and domestic violence that he is out of the house and that this is all happening now?? does he need to get hit with a brick to understand that??
this secretary thing--i beleive he had an affair last year,,,but that is not on the forefront of my mind.....that is not on the agenda as far as what the real problems are ..maybe that still might have to be explored and dealt with because i was never able to have any closure to that....i can only assume by emails, textmessages, cell phones calls, and a few other things that this was much more than the friendship he claims it to be.....
anyway, my lawyer called later today to say that his lawyer called him and my ah is now ready to sign the agreement...so i am praying (and please pray with me) that this happens and we dont have to go to court..if we go to court i will have to pull cell phone records, proof of his drug use, testify to domestic violence, etc..and it aint going to be pretty...plus it will cost a fortune.....so if you could just say a little prayer that he will agree and sign the FM restraints.....
also, now this is really strange,, i had a voicemail message on my cell which was actually my friends husband's message he left on my ah's cell a few days ago...he has gone through an addiction of his own (not drugs) and was just offering him someone to talk to...now why would my ah call me and leave that message on my cell phone for me to hear?? the only thing i can think of is that he thinks I violated the RO by him contacting my ah at my request...but he was just callling out of concern, not because i told him too...and even if i did, nothing was said about him calling because i asked him too.
my lawyer just cant believe my ah did not sign and even my ah's lawyer doesnt believe it...i heard his lawyer yelling at him, that he cant talk to him when he is like this....so he must have been a little out of control....
so thats the deal for now....again, i have to keep praying that it will be signed before july 2nd so we dont have to go through a trial.