Well, I agree she was rude. However, I also think that if you are going to get upset, this was not the time to do it. This is obviously (to me ) a lot more than this one incident (and you have indicated that).
Bottom line is this was last night and last night is gone.
At a time when emotions are NOT running high, you might want to have an honest discussion with her about what you feel is disrespect toward you.
BTW I am praying for your Brother and his safe return.