Thank you all so much.
I guess I just feel like I'm in a hole and can't quite seem to regain footing to try to climb out.
I am SUCH a black/white thinker. I keep beating myself up for how incredibly codependent I've been- my moods and my sanity and MY self-concept/self-esteem being dictated by the love & validation of another individual.
I seem to kick myself everytime I am aware of feeling this way, so that does not help.
I feel shaky about this but I think that I should be able to believe I deserve a loving relationship based on trust.
I'm such a thickheaded individual- just wish it could work in my favor.
I just want to take this time to work on me and begin reconnecting to myself but feel so far away.