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Old 06-20-2007, 08:16 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
ncdeac
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Finding Myself
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by MeggieStar View Post
Your AH, if he WANTED to recover and stop using drugs, would be DOING IT no matter what you said. You could ask him to come home OR say you were filing for divorce and if he TRULY wanted to get clean, it wouldn't matter. Because an addict can only get clean for himself.
I think this says it the best. When your AH decides to find recovery it will have nothing to do with you, the kids or the marriage. It's all about him. You can threaten until the cows come home, make deals and ultimatums, but none of it will ever work until he is ready for himself. My AH started recovery only after he was ready. I wasted so much time and energy begging, crying, threatening, issuing ultimatums...all of it and NONE of it changed anything.

The addiction was never about me nor was the recovery.
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